Top 10 Olympians as drinks
They may be masters of their respective athletic fields, but if Olympians were reimagined as cocktails, where would they stand on the bar list? We assess the drinks potential of 10 gold medallists and separate the shots from the Sazeracs.
As the Rio Olympics 2016 draw to an end, there’s a whole lot of celebrating on the cards for countries across the globe.
After watching Jamaica’s Usain Bolt whizz down the athletics track and admiring Simon Biles from the US complete a near-flawless gymnastics floor routine, SB started thinking – if Olympians were cocktails, what would they be?
From vodka shots to Negronis, Espresso Martinis to Old Fashioneds, across the following pages we bestow 10 Olympic gold medallists with a boozy accolade.
Click through the following pages to discover our pairing Olympic athletes and cocktails.
Usain Bolt
Regarded as the fastest man in the world, Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt would undoubtably be the Jägerbomb. With his intoxicating speed – Bolt is the first person to win three consecutive Olympic 100-metre Golds – and stimulating pre- and post-race dance moves, the athlete is by definition speedy, strong and a whole lot of fun, just like the Jagerbomb.
Mo Farah
As the UK’s most revered distance runner, Mo Farah shares a lot of common ground with the Long Island Iced Tea. Like his 10,000-metre races, the powerful drink is a test of endurance: a cocktail ‘survival of the fittest’. It takes a lot of stamina to get through the whole thing – not many could – and by the end you’re absolutely wiped out.
Michael Phelps
The USA’s Michael Phelps is the most decorated Olympian of all time, securing a whopping 23 Olympic medals for his swimming skills.
Phelps would surely be a wet gin Martini – strong and powerful, with a botanical kick. We’d garnish him with a prune, too, in homage to all those training hours clocked up in the pool.
Simone Biles
Dubbed “the best female gymnast that ever lived”, 19-year-old artistic gymnast Simone Biles from the US would be the Champagne Cocktail – made with sugar, Angostura bitters, Champagne, brandy and a maraschino cherry garnish. As with the cocktail, Biles bring a flavourful twist to the mat and and all the fizz to the vault – but don’t underestimate her potency (she’s clocked up four Golds and a Bronze is Rio alone).
Katie Ledecky
Just as with the Espresso Martini, there’s no lounging around with this US competitive swimmer. At the age of 19, Ledecky is already five-time Olympic Gold medalist, nine-time world champion, and currently holds the world-record holder in the women’s 400-, 800-, and 1,500-metre freestyle. Bold and punchy, this boozy coffee cocktail is the epitome of drinking endurance.
Charlotte Dujardin and Valegro
Widely regarded as “the most successful British dressage rider in the history of the sport”, Charlotte Dujardin has risen to Olympic greatness with her steed Valegro. We think the duo resemble a Mojito – a lot of time, effort, and know-how goes into making the perfect serve, and when you get the combination just right it’s an absolute delight to behold.
Katinka Hosszú
What else would be Hungarian competitive swimmer Katinka Hosszú be but a shot of the finest vodka? Sleek, stylish and straight to the point, there’s no messing about – in the bar or in the pool. Form, function and finesse for this three-time Olympic champion and five-time long-course world champion.
Chang Hye-Jin
South Korean archer Chang Hye-Jin would undoubtably be an Old Fashioned if she were a cocktail. As with archery, the drink calls for a series of precise, accurate actions – and deflecting from these can be a disaster. However with dedication, practice, and skill, the end result is well worth it.
Wayde Van Niekerk
What better represents legendary South African track and field sprinter Wayde van Niekerk than the Hurricane? Sweet but strong, this easy-drinking libation also packs a punch – just like the current world record holder, world champion and Olympic champion in the 400 metres.
Wu Minxia
China’s unstoppable Wu Minxia broke at least five Olympic records on Sunday, despite only actually competing in one diving event. For this reason, we’ve paired her with drinks powerhouse the Negroni – this complex, tenacious drink is a cocktail classic revered by fans across the globe.
