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Texas bar stirs up Trump, Jeb and Bernie serves

A Texas bar has created a series of tongue-in-cheek presidential candidate-inspired cocktails, including ‘Jeb!’, a US$157 million vodka soda “that never actually shows up”.

trump
The bar’s Trump cocktail: a Manhattan made with Canadian whisky “because if he wins we’re moving to Vancouver”

Created by Justin Elliott, bartender at Austin venue The Townsend, the hilarious Cocktails for Candidates menu embodies each nominee on the roster in cocktail form.

The menu ranges from the Hillary, a rye whiskey Old Fashioned that is “actually pretty great, but maybe you should have ordered something more exciting”; to Bernie, a can of Lone Star & a shot of fernet, where “the bartender gets to drink the shot”.

Ordering a Ben Carson will get you some warm milk and an Ambien sleeping pill, while the Ted Cruz is the same classic Cuban-style Daiquiri as a Marco Rubio, “but somehow less likeable”.

The cocktails were created to mark Moontower Comedy’s parody debate Trump vs. Bernie: Clash of the Titans which took place yesterday evening The Paramount Theatre, and will remain available into the election season.

kasich
The Kasich cocktail is a “spilled vodka soda”

The timely menu also coincides with Super Tuesday, which will see party members in 12 states and one US territory vote in favour their preferred candidate for President of the United States.

Below is the full Cocktails for Candidates list:

Trump – $12
A Manhattan made with Canadian whisky because if he wins we’re moving to Vancouver

Bernie – $4
A can of Lone Star & a shot of fernet, but the bartender gets to drink the shot

Hillary – $8
A rye whiskey Old Fashioned that’s really actually pretty great but maybe you should have ordered something more exciting

Jeb! – $157,600,000.00
A $157 million vodka soda that never actually shows up

John Kasich – $9
A perfectly reasonable cocktail that you’re still not gonna order so why bother describing it?

Marco Rubio – $9
A classic Cuban-style Daiquiri

Ted Cruz – $8
The same as Marco Rubio’s Daiquiri, but somehow less likeable

Ben Carson – Set a $20 bill on fire
Some warm milk and an Ambien

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