The best April Fools’ Day spirits ‘news’

The spirits industry has been so full of outlandish launches and unbelievable news of late, it’s been particularly difficult this year to decipher real news from April Fools’ Day tricks.

There’s surely been more than a few facepalms among journalists this morning

Or perhaps we’re just gullible. Nevertheless, when juicy press releases start pinging into SB’s inbox thick and fast from 31 March, they are always treated with necessary suspicion.

From whisky sniffer dogs and Scotch drinking cows to dating apps for gin lovers and groundbreaking legislation, some of the stories we’ve come across in the last 24 hours have been too good to be true.

Click through the following pages to see some of the funniest April Fools’ Day ‘news’ released by the spirits trade. If you’ve come across any humdingers not included in this list, let us know by leaving a comment below.

World’s first whisky sniffer dog

Of all the hilarious spirits industry April Fools this year, this is the story which everyone here at SB most wished were true (look at his face!). The Scotch Malt Whisky Society (SMWS) announced that golden retriever Chaucer had joined the club’s prestigious tasting panel in Edinburgh to help sniff out the finest whiskies for bottling. SMWS even claimed Chaucer’s incredible sense of smell (50 times more sensitive than a human’s) had sourced whisky for its ‘Barking Mad, Cask D1.1.’ bottling, said to have a flavour of “smoky meat” and “malty biscuits”.

Ginder dating app

Those tricksters at Master of Malt have been at it again. This year, the independent online retailer said its in-house development team had created a new dating app “designed to bring kindred spirits together based on their drinks preferences”. Users can swipe right past an array of gin brands, botancials and classic serves and then be paired up with a gin lover who shares their tastes. Once users have swiped right to at least six gins, a match is made. Ginder – coming soon to iPhone, Android and “fixie-bike-powered-Casio-wristwatches”. We wish.

Pimm’s sponsorship deal with Big Ben

Diageo may have a lot of influence and heaps of cash, but planting the logo of Pimm’s on the face of London’s most iconic landmark would surely be a step too far. Pimm’s revealed that it had signed a landmark sponsorship deal with Big Ben and would feature its logo across its clock face throughout the summer until 31 August, cementing its position as Britain’s favourite summer drink. The brand said it had approached officials at the Houses of Parliament with “a generous offer” to contribute towards the restoration of the Grade I listed timepiece in exchange for this unique bit of marketing.

Age declaration for all EU spirits

The Whisky Exchange (TWE) wins this year’s award for the most well-researched and committed April Fool’s spirits trick. On the retailer’s blog, a story claims that new legislation has come into force requiring every spirit produced in the EU to declare age statement on the label by 2017. “The new ruling is the result of lobbying from consumer groups for greater transparency in food-and-drink labeling,” TWE said. In addition to age (down to the years, months and weeks a product has spent in a cask), all spirits will need to display all ingredients (including percentage of malts to grains), additives and colouring (including “oak essence”) and the individual age components of all liquid in blends. Under the new legislation, trading standards officers will be deployed to all whisky distilleries to ensure regulations are abided. What 1984 in the whisky world would look like. Scary.

Captain Morgan pledges support for Boaty McBoatface

The eponymous pirate behind Captain Morgan rum has given Boaty McBoatface the opportunity to use his face and flag on its future voyages, according to brand owner Diageo. The £200m vessel, belonging to the Nature Environment Research Council, will be named according to the result of a public poll – the frontrunner in which is Boaty McBoatface. In a statement, Captain Morgan said: “Boaty McBoatface reminds me of my crew—legal drinking aged adventure-seekers who aren’t afraid to revel in life’s greatest satisfactions in the name of unforgettable fun. For this reason, I’m jumping aboard and publicly supporting Boaty McBoatface, and this I promise: If Boaty McBoatface takes the title, I’ll offer to hire an artist to draw my face on the boat, and I’ll provide my flag under which it can sail –a flag that will always bring the ship and its mates a shipload of fun and remind them to always celebrate responsibly.”

World’s first rum-flavoured crisps

After months of experimentation, Duppy Share Rum claims to have created a party-size packet of rum-flavoured crisps in partnership with online retailer 31 Dover. With an abv of 4%, the crisps are for “strictly adults only” and made from “hand-picked, hand-washed, hand-peeled, hand-sliced and hand-fried” plantain as part of a “painstaking process” that uses only “just-ripe” plants to ensure the product isn’t too sweet.

Mr Fogg’s hot air balloon bar

The quirky reputation of Mr Fogg’s meant we very nearly fell for this one. The London bar said it plans to launch the UK’s first hot air balloon bar that allows guests to circumnavigate London in 80 minutes, taking inspiration from Jules Verne’s famed novel, Around the World in 80 Days. The sky-bound spectacle will feature a bar on board, stocked with the finest spirits and rare products from around the world, Mr Fogg’s says. Guests will also be given a custom-made Hermès parachute upon arrival and given a crash course in the art of landing stylishly in the rare event of an emergency. Water will be fetched from rainclouds and food cooked on the crown of the balloon. Sounds glorious.

Cows fed whisky to rival Kobe beef

Spirit of Speyside made the most of the Scotch and Japanese whisky rivalry by claiming farmers on Speyside are being urged to feed their cattles a daily dram to create succulent meat that could rival Japan’s famous Kobe beef. In addition, feeding cattle distillery by-products and playing traditional Scots music to herds could also improve the quality of the beef. “All the signs indicate that introducing Speyside malt into a cow’s diet and using animal feed created from distillery by-products gives the meat a lovely, whisky-tinged flavour,” said Ann Miller, a director of the Spirit of Speyside Whisky Festival.

This wouldn’t have fooled anyone, but over at Vermont distillery WhistlePig, a certain Republican presidential candidate apparently made a surprise appearance… “In response to criticisms over the lack of substance to his campaign, Donald Trump gave his first major policy speech at a rally in Shoreham, VT, where he outlined a comprehensive strategy for America,” the distillery said.

db to host wine tasting in space

SB’s fun-loving sister title the drinks business hypothetically sent its editor-in-chief Patrick Schmitt up into space to host the first ever blind wine tasting to judge the effects of zero gravity on the palate.

Read the full story here.