Top alcohol-themed jokes and one-liners

16th June, 2020 by Lauren Eads

 Man walks into a bar…

A cat walks into a car. The bartender asks “what’ll you have?”

“A shot of rum,” replies the cat. The bartender pours the cat his drink.

Eyeing it carefully, the cat slowly pushes the shot off the table.



Two guys walk down a street. One walks into a bar, the other ducks.


A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink.

“Bartender, how much do I owe you?” the neutron asks.

“For you, no charge.”


A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm.

“Two pints please. One for me and one for the road.”

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